my last day in mexico and i´m online.

so here i am in aguascalientes mexico, my vacation has come to an end : ( i´m going to miss it here, and i finally understand why evelina makes such a big deal about coming over here. everything is so much more free..or perhaps its my family that make me see it that way. there´s a few things i learned while being out here for a mere 12 days...

for one, we in the united states are always stressing ourselves out over little things, or maybe it´s just me... the point is, life seems so much more calm over here even though people still have thet same priorities as we do. they seem to be much more happier is all i can say. god, i feel like i´m talking like an alien. lol anyway, i mean, my cousins do so much, they´re so freakin active and still go out and party or drink up. i feel like such a bum, or maybe it´s because i haven´t been in school since may. i dunno, but i actually wouldn´t mind living out here for at least a year or so. no one freak out, i´m talking years down the line when i have a stable career and such.

second thing i learned, i´ve been behaving like such a drug addict my last few weeks in chicago. i mean i can hardly distinguish my thoughts to the different times i was tripping. it all seems like a blur when i try to recollect. don´t get me wrong, they were fun times, but i feel like i shouldn´t be doing it anymore, which is the truth. i mean no one over here, none of my cousins nor their friends have touched the stuff i´m rambling about, and when i mentioned it to someone and asked if they´ve ever done shrooms, he replied with "no, eso te mata". ?????? that made me feel like shit, but also sympathy.lol poor guy doesn´t know what he´s missing. but then again, we´re so cluttered by buildings that all we have are trees and grass, and unless we´re uninhibited do we actually stop to appretiate it all. i dunno, now i feel as though i´m convincing myself why it´s ok to do it, so i´m going to stop.

third thing i learned over here is that having family is great. all i have at home is one brother, which i can hardly connect with anymore because he´s in his own world, and i´m in mine. i don´t think we have the same interests like we use to, maybe he´s in love? i dunno. but i love being around family, and i don´t mean just the "good" ones. when everyone gets together, and you see how we´re all different yet we come together it´s great, even though one might not think so at times. it´s horrible not having a big family at home, cousins my age to hang out with like over here. man, i´m going to miss them. i know they really tried to get me to enjoy myself and i really do appreciate it.

final thing i learned.........i´m weak!!!!!! i´m such a pussy. i kept telling my cousin we were going to party hard and blah blah blah, but after the second time i went out to drink, and drank to much might i add, i wasn´t up for drinking no more. god, they can really drink, and drink, and drink, and still get up the next day. i mean i do the same thing, but i couldn´t hack it here. i was in bed all day sunday because of my hangover, plus i had the runs (from the food i think). so after that, i didn´t want to see another bottle. on monday they bought me a pina colada and i couldn´t even drink a fourth of it : ( on tuesday we went to a bar. i drank a michelada and a margarita and i couldn´t take it anymore. not to mention the constant smoking!!!! dios mio!!! they smoke so much, well in comparison to me, and not lights, no, they smoke reds, ew!! down to the butt like they´re gonna run out of cigs or something. damn. i told my other cousin that i feel traumatized and that i wasn´t going to drink or smoke amymore. he said that i was going to die because i don´t eat meat and that now i´m not gonna drink or smoke. lol.

so today is my final day. my uncle said i shouldn´t go out today because they want to make a bbq in honor of my departure, and then if i want i can go out like i had planned. my cousin said he was gonna make reservations to some antro that´s suppose to be the shizznit, or chido. :)

i´m both happy and sad because of course i do miss chicago and all my peeps, cochinas, and monkeys. i missed work, i missed yoga, i missed marisa, ricardo, my family, loca, pulgas, ninja... you get the point. so my flight is at 7 which means i need to be at the airport at 5, which means if i do go out, i´ll have to come home like at 4 to get my stuff and leave : )

i love everyone and everything!!!!

p.s. don´t do drugs.....without me (hehehehehe)